brrrrr

It’s 7:32 PM and my feet are cold. For some reason I like to leave the window open 24/7. I suppose it’s because it seems more refreshing… It’s only been half a school year and I’ve run out of blog topics. I have random stories that pop up so I guess I start with them.
Growing up I always loved the cold. I always believed it was better than being hot. If I got stressed I’d just try to cool myself off and I used the cold as something that would relax me. I definitely had insomnia. Sleeping would always take an hour or so for me to fall asleep. The thought of me being the only one awake in my house always freaked me out as a kid so after a while I would sleep with ice packs or towels drenched in freezing water. I’m aware that it sounds weird but it truly helped me fall asleep so much faster. One way I got accustomed to the cold was the fact that my sister would lock me out of the house, without shoes on, whenever it would snow. Yeah… she liked to lock me out or in…. at one point I thought it was an OCD thing about her locking all the doors. Nope, turns out she just had a thing about being around me (such a great sister…). We were not the type of sisters that you’d see in pictures together or the ones just going for a ride. Since she moved away we have gotten a lot better and a lot closer. We’ve attempted going to the movies together but some things always get in the way. I’m sure things will get much better with time.

Forgiveness?

He bought her a little pink computer hoping all would be okay between them. The bad blood between them seemed to be his. She was mad that her father never paid for child support after her mother left him. But what could he do if he didn’t have the money? She just pushes him away without giving another chance. He tries so hard to make it up to her but he gets shot down every time. He loves her so much and always mentions his little girl. But with his daughter not wanting anything to do with him, another willingly tries to help fill the void. Me. Yes, I do love my father but I’m used to not having him around. He was always so busy with work he had to come home late. Sometimes he wouldn’t even be able to come home till the next night. When he’s around I try and utilize all the time I can but it’s never enough time. My “uncle” always treated me as a daughter and I feel bad because he’s such a good man but his own blood won’t take the chance to see the good in him. Knowing how hard he tries and how she doesn’t even take a second glance, I’ve come up with an image of her as cold and heartless. What has the world come to that we can’t even forgive the very blood that runs through us?
I suppose I understand some of her coldness. When family betrays you it hurts more and takes a bigger toll that we thought possible. That one greedy man, who only knows how to take and steal from family, can ruin the relationships that took so long to build up. And yes, I do hold resentment towards him and right now, I can’t see myself forgiving him. I just need time and that may be just what she needs too. Who knows how long it’ll take for him to be forgiven but all that he can do now is wait.
Waiting just takes too long. It seems we spend most of our lifetime waiting for things to happen. Why not take action? Why not be the first to act? Because it gets scary… It makes people feel uneasy and anxious. People usually stray from the unknown. They don’t like not knowing because it puts them at a disadvantage. But that’s life, not knowing the unknown.

Looking for That Little Ray of Sunshine

When people don’t care about their future, it makes me worry about mine. If everyone makes some kind of influence on the world, then how will the slackers and the underachievers affect our future? Will we run in circles as it ends in flames or will we go on as if our burning feet don’t bother us? Now that it is getting closer to the exams, good/bad students are getting weaved out by their grades. For those who aren’t willing to try and succeed, just leave them. No one can help them if they’re not willing to be helped. As I have mentioned before (on my other blogs), its life. It’s Darwinism. It won’t be our fault when they’re on the streets begging for money at the corner of the street. It’s not that I don’t care about those who weren’t able to keep their homes and now dwell on the streets but with all the lies and evil that surround the earth nowadays, I’m not sure whether or not I really trust them. I’ve become so cynical after seeing how cruel the world can truly be. Once and a while some good pops out from nowhere. But it reminds me that some things are worth going through all the difficult moments just to get a glimpse the good and to always look for that little ray of sunshine.

Shut Your Face…

Singing is a great way to express your feelings. Doesn’t matter if they’re tone deaf, it’s a stress reliever. There’s only one reason you shouldn’t sing. If you’re one of those people who like to “sing with your tongue” just don’t. PLEASE. It’s so creepy but I can’t help but to look! It leaves me stunned and dazed. Apparently, when one “sings with their tongue”, they need more room for their tongue. It’s comparable to someone who would pretend to puke, you know, with the BLAH and everything. I just want to shove something in your mouth to fill the large hole. If you’re wondering if anyone really does this, YES… there aren’t too many but they’re out there. And if you’re lucky you may be able to observe one of these astonishing feats.

Chomp Chomp!

People are crazy. I used to think middle school was filled with enough immature weird boys who bit into their chap stick. But now, they put those same boys who abuse their lip moisturizer, into huge, fast, metal cars. I couldn’t figure out why parents and teachers didn’t just sift through the boys picking out which ones would succeed and which would fail. If they don’t take the time to study for a test and decide to whine about it later, then cut them loose. It’s Darwinism. That’s life. Even the fish in my fish tank know that. Except they take it a step farther… they eat the loser.